Ep.6/Jeff
On this episode, I am joined by Jeff. We talk about many things, including overcoming heartbreak, spirituality, trust & surrender, expectations and how things should be versus how they are, and finding our own beliefs other than what we've been taught. At one point Jeff asks me to read his story. This part has been edited out of the episode due to length but the story is in the show notes below, along with links to other things mentioned in the episode. Join me in practicing the art of presence as we listen to what Jeff has to share with us. I invite you to notice what comes up for you while listening and feel welcome to share with us. The full episode is available to watch on YouTube.
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Ep.6
Jeff’s story and links:
Jeff Streitmatter IV is a Christian mystic, industrial engineer, and a music storyteller. He landed his first job transforming corporate America by kicking a CEO (who he then asked for a job). That’s just one example of the many strokes of luck that have helped him along his mission.
Another one came a few years later. By this point, he was on the latter half of his twenties, feeling like they would deliver some sort of revelation to help him seize the helm of a mission he had always felt but could never describe. For now, he had made his mark on the corporate world. That fated meeting, struck by the blow of an ill-aimed kick, had catapulted him into a world of enterprise-building and influence The somewhat scattered, dreamy Cancerian boy had blazed a trail through the corporate landscape, and established himself as someone with compelling ideas and an able mind to articulate them.
He wondered if one day he would lead people under his own banner towards a mission that encompassed more of his life than he would ever realize. This mission wasn’t just about helping companies work better, or making music sound better, or even making Christianity feel better. But somehow, he wanted to give words to that substance common to all three. He dreamed of writing the creed of something perfect.
One day, he got a message from a girl on Instagram. He recognized her from her page where she taught astrology. He liked her content and admired how her skillful explanations drew a crowd of nearly 50,000 followers eager to learn about psychic influences. In her message she said, “I had a dream about you.. we need to talk.”
She went on to tell him about how she had met him in a dream (even though we had never met in real life) and spent the last week searching based on a hunch that the dream man was real and he was her destiny. There was a wild goose chase before she finally, through some miracle, found him. And here she was.
Hearing the woman’s story and reflecting on the divine intervention that brought it to fruition felt like a sign. Here, before him, was the love of his life, brought to him in a dream; a woman with an audience eager for a spiritual message and here he was, ready to fulfill it. Everything he had dreamed about - romance, devotion, purpose - it was all in his lap.
Then one day, out of the blue, she left him and never looked back. He pleaded with her, begging to hold onto this treasure of love they had secured. She never even acknowledged him. It was like having the rugged ripped out from under you - one moment in paradise and the next tumbling through the abyss. The emptiness left Jeff falling through the rift in his own soul…
For a while, the blackness was so vast that he could fill it only with tears. Have you ever been in total darkness? It has a way of surrounding you, penetrating you, and even the faintest form made out in darkness seems more portentous than anything unbecoming in broad daylight.
As shapes began to sift out of the darkness he could make out the dim walls of a prison cell. He was above looking down on it and in the middle of the room was a child. He recognized the child from one of the painful memories of his youth. He had been trapped here all along, waiting for a rescuer, stuck in a memory that haunted him. Twenty-something years had gone by and here he was again, rejected again by someone he longed for. Twenty-something years and nothing made a difference - the greatest rescue attempt he could have imagined had failed. He was still a prisoner of this unslayable evil.
Two things occurred to him at the same time. One was that nothing he could ever do would attract a savior to his rescue. The dreadful truth he never wanted to acknowledge was real. It filled his eyes with tears and compassion for the lost soul. He held the child in his arms, visiting with him in that childhood scene. But this time, he confronted his bullies, he defended the child, he stood up for his innocence. And as he was doing this, he laughed at the same time, it occurred to him that his savior had indeed come.
[dramatic pause]
After this moment of reconciliation, Jeff found there was new forgiveness living inside of him. He was able to apologize for behaviors he could never address before. He could be at peace with his depression. He felt better about being flawed and living in a flawed world.
A few months later, Jeff got laid off from his stupid job. He joined a band and wrote a musical about all the things that happened to him in this journey. At the end of this month, in august, he’s leaving Wyoming to live out of his car and roam around looking for public spots to play his music at.